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Newsflash: Racial Stereotype League Saves The World Again!!!

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The American Fag is a majestic and beautiful piece of our patriotic history. It's bright colors and glittering stars have inspired people for generations to shed their prejudices and unite under the glorious banner of equality.

Some people think that Fags are new or that America invented them, but this is simply not true. Fags have been around for a long time waving blissfully in the breeze and representing their country or nation with pride.

Here are some examples of Fags from around the world.

Fags are a beautiful part of any countries nationality and identity and should be accepted and appreciated. There is nothing more fabulous than a huge fag waving wildly in the wind with nothing on but their true colors.

But where did Fags come from?

Well that's simple! Fags were first invented back in the 1960's, just like everything else. The first American Fag was created by Sir Elton John and his 5 wives. This may seem odd to some of you younger readers, but at the time is was totally normal for a fag maker to have more than one wife.

Below is a historically accurate image of Sir Elton John sewing the first American Fag.

Shortly after Elton had crafted the American Fag the government decided that they didn't want a national Fag and they attempted to destroy it using their Assorted Icon Destroying Strategies or AIDS.

AIDS was built by the Government to destroy the American Fag so that nobody would ever unite under the banner of equality and would instead spend the rest of their lives working in automotive factors and being a bunch of redneck dipshits.

Here we see Emperor George W. Bush about to feast on the severed heads of two fag supporters, Dumbledore and Rosie O'Donnell.

Despite the AIDS the Government was not able to silence the patriotic spirit of the American Fag as it waved gloriously above the nation and inspired generations of citizens and foreigners alike.

To this day - the struggle continues. But Old Glory still proves to be a magnificent and beautiful reminder of everything that the United States stands for... freedom.... equality.... truth... awesomeness... etc....

And for that reason, we salute the American Fag.

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Why The "Twilight" Book Series Sucked A Huge D!*K And Anyone Who Liked It Is A Moron

September 23rd 2008 19:41

Hi friends.

Welcome to the Reader's Circle! The place where everyone who loves books and brains comes to read and learn!

I'm glad you could join us!

Today we're going to talk about why Stephanie Meyer is the worst author in history and should suffer a violent and painfully long, death after writing the "Twilight" book series.

Based on the reviews and fans this book series has gotten I can only assume that Stephanie Meyers personally went on an international tour in which she personally gave hand-jobs to every person she encountered.

That's the only rational excuse for this much hype about what is possibly the stupidest book concept anyone has ever heard of.

Whoever signed off on having this manuscript published must have been on acid, or drunk, or both. That conversation probably sounded something like this:

Stephanie Meyer: "I wrote a book about a girl who loves a vampire and a werewolf and they all have freaky mythological creature sex."

Publisher: "Oh sweet, that sells like crazy to our lonely, goth, moron, audience."

And then the publisher signed off on the book by dragging his ass across the page.

I'm having a lot of trouble understanding at what point Vampires went from being hideous, blood-hungry killing machines to being these ambiguous, mysterious, romeo type characters.

It's downright troubling because I'm afraid that really soon we're going to start seeing books where "Trolls" and "Ogres" are featured as 12 foot tall Johnny Depps. It just blows my mind.

I guess I'm the only person alive who still keeps the score, but this is like the 1,000,000 book like this that has been written.

Mortal girl -> Vampire -> Werewolf -> LOVE TRIANGLE.

Wow - honestly? Stephanie Meyers came up with this all by herself?!

No fucking way. This is the most cliche, boring and overdone piece of melodramatic bullshit ever to be put into print.

If this plot-line was new or original to you, I hope to god you're either suffering from short and long term memory loss or you're 5 years old, because this one has been around the block more times than a drunk hooker on speed.

If this is really the extent it takes to impress you gullible idiots, I'm going to write a new series of books called "The Time Between Day and Night" and it's about a girl who falls in love with a black, female vampire and an Asian female Werewolf and a male, Irish Dragon.

So now you've got a Love-Square in which the main character is not only screwing mythological creatures but you've got the lesbian element in there and the racial lines crossed.

Oh snap! It's the juiciest thing anyone has ever written.

Someone publish this - I'm dropping Best-Seller Bombs all over!

Idiots.

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Government To Team Up Obese People and Midgets To Create Super Soldiers!

June 20th 2008 06:28

Today it was announced by the New King of The Earth, Barack Obama, that using Mac technology a legion of super-soldiers would be created to serve NATO in the genocide of people who disagree with Western Customs and Beliefs.

Steve Jobs quickly drew up plans for the preliminary Super Soldier design. The concept was to fuse two of the worlds most feared races into a hybrid super-being capable of functioning in any situation under a multitude of scenarios with optimal efficiency.

The final project concept looked something like this:

As Steve Jobs explained, "In a combat situation, you basically got a fat guy and a midget tied together. So they can function as a team in almost any combat situation. Regardless of if its eating an entire buffet or crawling through a doggy-door. They got it covered in ways that no ordinary human could."

As Obama and Jobs toured the initial test subjects they were given combat simulations to demonstrate the awesome power of these mortal gods.

Seen above is an early attack concept known as the "Tiny Bomb" in which the fat-guy unit of the team uses his sheer momentum to hurl his midget counter-part as a projectile. The maneuver is still in early development but is showing a lot of promise.

In 2008 the first field test of these super soldiers now deemed "Glutton Goliaths" was enacted upon a combat region in Southern Afghanistan. After only 45 minutes of combat, the results looked like this:

After the 45 minute massacre the entire city was destroyed and all life within it was dead and or dying, with the exception of one local Burger King. The staff of that Burger King was taken hostage by the duo and enslaved for the next 48 hours satiating their mammoth hunger before they too were obliterated.

Truly, this project is heralding in a new dawn of weaponry in the United States.

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Sex and The City Spinoff Scores Long and Hard with Critics!!

May 28th 2008 13:27

Starting this fall with such brilliant and beloved shows as Sex And The City and Scrubs seeing their final hour, all eyes have fallen on one new and thriving Sitcom to carry the torch that these fine shows have finally walked away from

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Newsflash: Racial Stereotype League Saves The World Again!!!

May 3rd 2008 22:25

In a breaking news story, the Racial Stereotype League has saved the world yet again today. Yes! The team who continues to prove that racial stereotypes can positively work to improve our world has finished their fifth daring adventure and rescued the world from certain doom.

It was a bleak and early Monday when the world awoke to the disturbing and terrifying news that a Rebel Faction of Russian / Middle-Eastern Soviet Terrorists had obtained a Biological Nuclear Bomb capable of destroying our entire internet MySpace

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Cannibalism may be the solution to all of America's Woes

April 24th 2008 23:02

As the painful crunch of economic turmoil and an evergrowing international food crisis continues to plague the U.S and foreign countries, a new solution has come into view. While it may be seen by some as barbaric and even disgusting it is already being ushered into American doctrine faster than Baseball and Apple Pie. Brace your children and wives, Cannibalism is the new Atkins.

Yes! Cannibalism!
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Tribulations Of The Day:

January 27th 2008 03:19

Originally I had a fantastic arguement for the purpose of a poignant and cutting debate against all that is wrong with everything these days. However in spite of all this I leave you with this image of Oprah passing down her commandments to all those who follow the faith of Modern Media. May her will be done, for her's and her kin's are all that is left is the Human Race.

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5 Tips For Meeting Exotic New People!

December 30th 2007 12:59

As a seasoned people meeter I often venture into the urban sprawl to get a glimpse at all the people I can meet. Back in 2002 I was Time Magazine's official People Meeter of the year because I met 159,000 people in one day. Allegedly.

So it comes as a huge surprise to me when I find out that some people actually struggle with social situations and find it difficult to meet new people. In this segment of "Human Hunter" I'm going to give you 5 easy tips that will make meeting new people an easy but exciting hobby for everyone! Woohooo

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Hitler's Salami Wizard! A Delicious Delight!!

December 28th 2007 21:27

Everyone knows about Hitler. He pioneered the skin-tight Uniform. He created an amazing workout that looks a lot like marching and saluting. He even set into trend the "Short Stash" moustache fashion. However what a lot of people don't know about him is that he also loved Subs. He loved the Sub Sandwich so much that he based most of his life around it and spent the greater majority of his years delving into the Science of a great Sandwich. In this edition of "Fascism and Food" lets explore Hitler's rise to greatness and his inevitable fall.

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MASSACRE ON CHRISTMAS! THE CATHOLIC THUNDER!

December 24th 2007 18:59

BEHOLD! The truth of Christmas must be revealed! That this Sacred Holiday not forget it's true meaning and past. Though the Catholic church has tried to silence me through the use of Ninja's, Pirate's and whiny Emo kids. I have come to you people today to reveal the truth and pull off the blanket of ignorance

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December 2008

1 Posts

September 2008

1 Posts