Brandon 2Anger Management: The Key To Becoming Super-Human
November 5th 2007 03:13
What you could become?!
So I recently went to the video store and picked up 28 Days Later. However I did not know at that time that this was a movie about a Zombie infestation taking over Earth. I was under the impression that it was a sequel to "Six Days, Seven Nights" a charming movie about Harrison Ford being stuck on an island. It happens to be a personal favorite.
I was tricked!
So you can imagine how upset I was when I got home and found that not only does "28 Days Later" not have Harrison Ford in it, but it also is not about an Island. Instead the movie features British characters in the midst of a Zombie take-over of their beloved city. Now you're probably saying to yourself: "I know that Zombies have mad skills but honestly, how can they take over an entire country?" well the answer to that question is the same as how Harrison Ford can slaughter entire native peoples in the Amazon: Rage!
What we need to do is take a lesson from heroic figures such as Harrison Ford and Zombies. All of the things they've achieved in their lives can be directly linked to their use of blinding anger and rage!
1. Both Harrison Ford and Zombies have pillaged and looted the cultural treasures of almost every race of people on Earth.
2. Both Harrison Ford and Zombies have been prescribed Prozac and refused to use it.
3. Both Harrison Ford and Zombies have been in major motion pictures.
4. Both Harrison Ford and Zombies have been lost on Islands with middle-aged blonde women and killed / made-out with them.
With such staggering achievements and victories it's no wonder so many people have turned to searing anger and rage as a source of renewed faith and purpose in their daily lives. You probably see them daily as they leave Starbucks or shuffle into the office looking much like this:
Although Rage and Violence are not simply tools for successful every-day living they can also be applied to greater feats of accomplishment. Have you ever wanted to take over the world in a bloody revolution? Zombies have done it multiple times as you can see in countless documentaries. It's not that Zombies are just gifted revolutionaries, it's that they tap into the primal forces of being really pissed off.
Al Gore at Live Earth
Even mild-mannered Al Gore harnesses the power of Rage to strike down Republican Forces at Live Earth. As he defends the Environment being pissed off and expressing it outwardly allows him to become "Gorezilla" a being of awesome power and Rainbows.
That is what I learned from watching 28 Days Later and my Local Library.
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Comment by Damo
Good stuff.
Comment by Tracy
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Comment by Garrett Mickley
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I was there.
I also saw Mothra Stewart.
She tried to redecorate the stage.