Brandon 2MASSACRE ON CHRISTMAS! THE CATHOLIC THUNDER!
December 24th 2007 18:59
BEHOLD! The truth of Christmas must be revealed! That this Sacred Holiday not forget it's true meaning and past. Though the Catholic church has tried to silence me through the use of Ninja's, Pirate's and whiny Emo kids. I have come to you people today to reveal the truth and pull off the blanket of ignorance!
This is the reason the Catholic Church does not want you to see the movie: "The Golden Compass"! This is the reason why they claim this to be a religious day! This is the reason why the Pope looks like a Gremlin!
For you see my children there is no Golden Compass. Only "The Golden Christmas" and it is the day in which the great battles between the Polar Bear Nation and the Catholic Church were waged for sovereign control of the Arctic Regions....
It was on this day. In the mid 1980's. When Tim Allen took the ancient helm of Jesus and commanded the forces of the Imperial Catholic Crusade to storm the Polar Bears secret toy factory and kill every man-bear / woman-bear and child-bear that they saw.
This image was taken by an Bear Photographer just moments before Tim Allen brutally destroyed the Secret Workshop. Robbed the Bears of their beloved Coca Cola and fed them into a boiling sea of Flame.
The above image is of a young Polar Bear in his traditional Winter Hat surveying the destruction of his people's homeworld just weeks after Tim Allen's massacre on the North Pole. To this day a giant statute of the cast of Home Improvement feasting on a fallen Polar Bear stands as testament to the massacre that History would later name: "Tim Allen's Career".
Enjoy the Holidays and let us never forget the horrors that a truly awful Actor and Religion can do.... if they join forces.
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Comment by Garrett Mickley
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