Brandon 2Why The "Twilight" Book Series Sucked A Huge D!*K And Anyone Who Liked It Is A Moron
September 23rd 2008 19:41
Hi friends.
Welcome to the Reader's Circle! The place where everyone who loves books and brains comes to read and learn!
I'm glad you could join us!
Today we're going to talk about why Stephanie Meyer is the worst author in history and should suffer a violent and painfully long, death after writing the "Twilight" book series.
Based on the reviews and fans this book series has gotten I can only assume that Stephanie Meyers personally went on an international tour in which she personally gave hand-jobs to every person she encountered.
That's the only rational excuse for this much hype about what is possibly the stupidest book concept anyone has ever heard of.
Whoever signed off on having this manuscript published must have been on acid, or drunk, or both. That conversation probably sounded something like this:
Stephanie Meyer: "I wrote a book about a girl who loves a vampire and a werewolf and they all have freaky mythological creature sex."
Publisher: "Oh sweet, that sells like crazy to our lonely, goth, moron, audience."
And then the publisher signed off on the book by dragging his ass across the page.
I'm having a lot of trouble understanding at what point Vampires went from being hideous, blood-hungry killing machines to being these ambiguous, mysterious, romeo type characters.
It's downright troubling because I'm afraid that really soon we're going to start seeing books where "Trolls" and "Ogres" are featured as 12 foot tall Johnny Depps. It just blows my mind.
I guess I'm the only person alive who still keeps the score, but this is like the 1,000,000 book like this that has been written.
Mortal girl -> Vampire -> Werewolf -> LOVE TRIANGLE.
Wow - honestly? Stephanie Meyers came up with this all by herself?!
No fucking way. This is the most cliche, boring and overdone piece of melodramatic bullshit ever to be put into print.
If this plot-line was new or original to you, I hope to god you're either suffering from short and long term memory loss or you're 5 years old, because this one has been around the block more times than a drunk hooker on speed.
If this is really the extent it takes to impress you gullible idiots, I'm going to write a new series of books called "The Time Between Day and Night" and it's about a girl who falls in love with a black, female vampire and an Asian female Werewolf and a male, Irish Dragon.
So now you've got a Love-Square in which the main character is not only screwing mythological creatures but you've got the lesbian element in there and the racial lines crossed.
Oh snap! It's the juiciest thing anyone has ever written.
Someone publish this - I'm dropping Best-Seller Bombs all over!
Idiots.
Welcome to the Reader's Circle! The place where everyone who loves books and brains comes to read and learn!
I'm glad you could join us!
Today we're going to talk about why Stephanie Meyer is the worst author in history and should suffer a violent and painfully long, death after writing the "Twilight" book series.
Based on the reviews and fans this book series has gotten I can only assume that Stephanie Meyers personally went on an international tour in which she personally gave hand-jobs to every person she encountered.
That's the only rational excuse for this much hype about what is possibly the stupidest book concept anyone has ever heard of.
Whoever signed off on having this manuscript published must have been on acid, or drunk, or both. That conversation probably sounded something like this:
Stephanie Meyer: "I wrote a book about a girl who loves a vampire and a werewolf and they all have freaky mythological creature sex."
Publisher: "Oh sweet, that sells like crazy to our lonely, goth, moron, audience."
And then the publisher signed off on the book by dragging his ass across the page.
I'm having a lot of trouble understanding at what point Vampires went from being hideous, blood-hungry killing machines to being these ambiguous, mysterious, romeo type characters.
It's downright troubling because I'm afraid that really soon we're going to start seeing books where "Trolls" and "Ogres" are featured as 12 foot tall Johnny Depps. It just blows my mind.
I guess I'm the only person alive who still keeps the score, but this is like the 1,000,000 book like this that has been written.
Mortal girl -> Vampire -> Werewolf -> LOVE TRIANGLE.
Wow - honestly? Stephanie Meyers came up with this all by herself?!
No fucking way. This is the most cliche, boring and overdone piece of melodramatic bullshit ever to be put into print.
If this plot-line was new or original to you, I hope to god you're either suffering from short and long term memory loss or you're 5 years old, because this one has been around the block more times than a drunk hooker on speed.
If this is really the extent it takes to impress you gullible idiots, I'm going to write a new series of books called "The Time Between Day and Night" and it's about a girl who falls in love with a black, female vampire and an Asian female Werewolf and a male, Irish Dragon.
So now you've got a Love-Square in which the main character is not only screwing mythological creatures but you've got the lesbian element in there and the racial lines crossed.
Oh snap! It's the juiciest thing anyone has ever written.
Someone publish this - I'm dropping Best-Seller Bombs all over!
Idiots.
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Comment by Anonymous
AND YOU MUST BE ALSO THE LESBIAN GIRL!
Comment by Anonymous
AND YOU MUST BE ALSO THE LESBIAN GIRL!
Comment by Anonymous
first of all i could noutice from what you have written that you are some stupid girl that don t like book and don t have imagination
secondly have you any idea of how many people read that book? 10.000.000.000 not less than that-
finally i think you should write that book that you said and then tell me if al least one person buy it
stupid girl!!
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Comment by I was here
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Comment by Anonymous
you are so wrong you faggot,
Get some real perspective
Comment by May
Music Dime
The books are my current obssession. Granted, my taste in books might be a bit different than yours, but to each their own.
Were you expecting more explosive comments to this post than what you've got?? Maybe the rest of us just can't be bothered! We're still too busy reading!
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Comment by just post a name ffs
this is to one of those comments at the top...cant really name it since its anonymous but oh my god...seriously everything in this overview makes perfect sense...not only is the story an unoriginal, stupid and hideous insult to all types of literature, it is the essence of retardation.(yes that's a word go look it up)
"10.000.000.000 not less than that-" first of all those dots there make that number equal to 10....which really shows how intelligent this poser is. also, lets say those dots are commas, then that number would be ten billion, which is larger than the population of the earth. so unless your friends from mars read this piece of junk...i don't see how you could come up with that many readers.
Comment by LVOE It
and also...yes person who wrote "this serious brought reading back" for fucks sake 1)learn how to spell 2) learn how to use parantheses (if your too stupid to know what that is...lol at you) 3) dont ever post another comment here
Comment by Anonymous
secondly, i find it kind of hilarious that there's an ad for twilight shirts on your page.
twilight is paying for this blog.
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Comment by Anonymous
Long live this post. Oh god, long live this post. *worships*
Comment by Anonymous
Comment by Anonymous
The critical reception for Twilight has been mixed. Booklist wrote, "There are some flaws here–a plot that could have been tightened, an over reliance on adjectives and adverbs to bolster dialogue–but this dark romance seeps into the soul."[7] Kirkus wrote: "[Twilight] is far from perfect: Edward's portrayal as monstrous tragic hero is overly Byronic, and Bella's appeal is based on magic rather than character. Nonetheless, the portrayal of dangerous lovers hits the spot; fans of dark romance will find it hard to resist."[8] Publishers Weekly's starred review described Bella's "infatuation with outsider Edward", their risky relationship, and "Edward's inner struggle" as a metaphor for sexual frustration accompanying adolescence.[9] Hillias J. Martin of School Library Journal praised the novel, saying, "Realistic, subtle, succinct, and easy to follow, Twilight will have readers dying to sink their teeth into it."[10]
Comment by Heyhey
Comment by Anonymous
i mean it is chicklit so what can you expect? honestly haha